~A Summer Drumming Circle~

Throughout the rest of the spring I attended more drumming circles and events. Met an abundance amount of talented individuals with the same passion plus made some great friends with the same common ground. I purchased more percussion instruments/toys as some calls them but then they are not toys to me, they are voices, they are special. Which is why I pack them in its each individual storage place/bag.

I am kind of picky in what I purchase and if it talks to me… Or say “Buuuy Meeee!” “I am herrre!” “Take Meeee!” HAHAHAH!  So! I do!  Of course it depends on the price and on the key-note it plays.  There is a joke, it has to fit in my green carrying back pack, then its a go.  But now it seems, they all no longer fit. “I wonder how that happened?” HAHAH!   So, now I only take what I think I will need for the event or the occasion.  When I am home…I take them all out and place them around the room so when I walk by, I can play them, chime it, tap it, you get the picture! It brings happiness to me…

Now its Summer! What I love about the summer aside from the weather, especially this past year…is the out-door drum circles.  As mentioned earlier I attend the FREEDRUM circles. Its held every first Saturday of the month from 7-10 PM.  We meet at the “Yoga at the Ashram” in Millis, MA.  A beautiful, peaceful area, inside and out. I love the connection I feel when I arrive. This past summer Dave had prepared out-door drum circles around a bonfire.  Which I love.  Growing up as an inner city kid from Brooklyn, N.Y., I would ask. “Huh! What is a bonfire!” There was no such thing…unless someone was burning trash in a metal trash bin. Then as getting older and extremely active and busy with many other projects, events, etc. bonfires was not in the equation. Its like if one follows the same pattern…still in the mind set of living in the city and that environment.  Some where in a different world or lets say, planet all together. So when I see a bonfire, I feel like a child and totally appreciate the warmth and beauty of it all! Plus the smell on my hair.  Which is why I don’t take anything for granted. I did not grow up seeing these things  nor experiencing it nor as I was getting older.  So a lot of what I am encountering now is for the first time.  I am not embarrass to express it, at my age.  I am very grateful to have been given an opportunity to enjoy it all now and I am embracing it!  Hard to believe, Huh! Now back to this FREEDRUM circle.

Everyone starts to arrive and set up.  One would bring a folding chair, a blanket, water, bug repellant, drums, other instruments, snacks, a light jacket…actually, all we need are tents! HAHAH! All of this, for the love of drumming! Totally worth it!

At one of the circle I decided to bring my camera and take photos of the gathering. I love photography and shoot what I see and what I feel inside, record history, memories.  In my life when I see, I see frames, I see moments.  So on this day I started to take photos of drums and individuals playing their instruments.  As I was listening and walking around the circle, I started to feel a sense of sacredness. A very deep love, a passion of togetherness. I would hear the harmony, the rhythm and being out-doors with the fire made it so much Holy like! It was tender and deep. At one point as the drumming was slowing down, my friend, Brenda took out her Tibetan bell which we call “lil’bell” and started to play it.  At that moment I felt and heard this beautiful serene sweet sound and immediately took a photo of what I was seeing, as I was feeling the essence of this circle together as equals, which is what a circle is.

I truly love these drumming circles.  They are very special to me and I know for many others as well. I was introduced to them a year ago.  I am grateful for them, for they have been a gift to me.  I am also grateful for all the hard work it takes the facilitator.  In the circle I attend, the facilitator, Dave would haul extra drums for others to use because he hates to see someone without a drum, other instruments to share, wood for the fire, extra folding chairs, flash lights, bug candles, words of wisdom, news updates to share, setting up, breaking down, a sense of humor, plus much, much more. Also on top of that keeping the rhythm flowing. One would even purchase a larger vehicle to carry all the items.  I know and totally understand all of this.  When I was Director and Producer for the Puppet Production, the amount of equipment I and some of my team would haul was unreal. But its done with a passion that is priceless.

You see, a drumming circle is not just a drumming circle.  One would think its just a bunch of people beating on their drums. Its more to that, every person that joins a circle is an equal but with different stories, different encounters, different experiences, different needs. Within the circle many can feel released, refreshed, fulfilled, happiness, and togetherness.  It’s very enriching to feel connected to the rawness of life and finding the essence.  Your essence!~~

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

For more information on FREEDRUM, click the Links and Information.

Sweet Retreat and the S.P.I.N. Gathering

The weather was getting warmer, the days longer and new events for 2011 were creeping up…some I attended some I did not. It all depended on the travel distance.  I did decide to attend my first S.P.I.N. gathering arranged by a dedicated friend, Dan.

S.P.I.N. stand for Spirit in Nature Pathways.   It is a seasonal gathering in which many gather to walk together in silence on a woodland path in a form of drum and bell meditation.  Dan, also shares a few words on preserving the land and using natural energy and resources. These area that are prepared, welcomes any one to walk and find a refuge of peace and mental healing plus appreciate the surroundings.

My first S.P.I.N. gathering was in around May 2011.  It was a Saturday afternoon.  The distance was far and to an area I have never been.  But decided to go, to move forward. I only knew a few individuals but that was okay, I was sure I would meet new friends and hang out a bit.  It was a 2 1/2 hour drive, a couple of friends offered to car pool but my morning was a bit complicated.  So it was distend for me to drive on my own.  So I gathered all my salad items for the pot luck dinner to share, my snacks, music, comfortable clothes, drum, some shakers and tambourine.  At 12:30 P.M. I got into my faithful SUV, switched on my partner (GPS) and said “Here we go!”  Turned my music on and started to venture into uncharted land with lots of faith.

After the 2 1/2 hour drive, I arrived to the site and in time.  I encountered a beautiful, gorgeous property.  The sun was not out but the misty haze and peacefulness was enchanting.  The owner lives with her family in an open spacious house and offers her property for special events and also individuals that need a couple of days to retreat, to recover, to heal.  Which is why it’s called “Sweet Retreat” I thought this idea was wonderful, beautiful and selfless.  Especially when the property lends itself for this.  I can see why! I would do the same or just have gatherings to share in the passion of music, togetherness and health. I like that!

Now for some reason I was quiet, some said a few words to me then moved on…I was mostly alone but not uncomfortable.  Maybe it was meant to be this way.  But then I’m one of those individuals that can be around people and have a blast, laugh, goof around (you can ask my brothers and some close friends) but also be quiet or be one on one only or just observe my surroundings and feel the essence.

Now…everyone had arrived and settled down at a location that Dan had set aside for the Buddhist chanting and mediation.  I mostly listened due to not knowing the words…actually to this day, still don’t know the words, 🙂  SO I humm them… One day I will learn them.  Then we all stood up and gathered together to proceed with the silent walk through the woods.  One would follow each other in a line and remain silent so to feel, see, hear, experience all the surroundings and what nature had to offer…receive its gifts. There were written reflections posted on some trees.  One would stop to read and reflect.  We continued the walk and about every 10 mins or so, one would hear a drum beat and then the bell.  This is to remind you of the purpose and why you are here, in case our minds would start to wonder.

Living in a world surrounded with noise and distractions, to now hear total silence and only hear the branches cracking, birds singing, ruffle of leaves, the movement of the air, the breeze dancing, hearing the grass grow, branches moving, the hazy sky, the feathery dandelions moving along the breeze. All if this  was very overwhelming to me.  This was a Rebirth!.  I felt my tears rolling down my cheeks.  I stretched my arms out to feel the magnitude of what I was experiencing, the sacredness and the power.  I was so grateful and at peace during this walk.

We reached the end, formed into a circle and expressed in a few words our experiences.  My two words were “The beginning”  At that moment I just wanted to sit on a blanket, next to a fire and just hang out quietly! I have always enjoyed the out doors, I am blessed with a beautiful garden in my back yard, not huge but big enough to maintain. But this experience was beyond what I had expected.

We then headed to the house for a nice meal.  I sat, spoke to Dan a little and another individual, but then again remained alone. After,  we were treated to a special performance by a wonderful singer, by the name of Lindsey and Dave assisted her with the percussion. Of course a lover of music I can not just sit there and do nothing! So on one of the songs,  out came my shaker and helped out!  Loved it! “Never leave without a shaker!” HAHAH!

After this terrific performance we all headed out and sat on blankets.  It was very misty but kind of nice.  A guest speaker by the name Linda aka Mother Earth, spoke about the passion and power of nature and its gifts of healing together with the Creator.   I truly believe this from my own experience with my mom in what she went through. How she would go out into the garden and actually see the flowers grow, the vines move, watch the morning dew, smell the morning jasmine flowers and much more. This gave her comfort and joy as she healed.  She took no medication only what surrounded her and embraced the gifts our Creator shared with her. Until this day she is very grateful and gives back. I call my mom “Mama Pacha” which comes from the indigenous people and means “Mother Earth”.  So I am “Pelucha” and my mom “Mama Pacha”. HAHAH! If you are wondering…Pelucha is a nick name my brother gave me…it means Cuddly toy with messy fur/hair. Now moving on…:-)

As Linda continued her thoughts,  I looked down and reached for a blade of grass and at that moment felt the beauty and its heart beat.  A simple blade, but full of life that gives back to us, to me.  I then listened and shared some experiences with others.

After this wonderful peaceful reflection time, we all stood up and gathered our drums, instruments, didgeridoos, etc. for the last part of the gathering was going to begin.  I headed over to the drumming circle area and  a warm bonfire was going. This was my first out-door bonfire drum circle. I fell in love with the smell of fire burning plus being able to play my drum in front of it. Playing and hearing the drums, didgeridoos, shakers, bells, frame drums, plus much more, all around a bonfire was so organic, so ancient, so native.  It touched my heart and spirit.  After awhile it started to rain a bit but then it stopped so we moved closer to the fire and went into a deep softer sound with softer instruments.  I was in love with this moment and its essence, plus the people around me as I would hear them sing and play.

At 9 P.M. I quietly packed my instruments…said my Good-byes and took a deep breath.  Got back into my faithful SUV, put on some music, set up my GPS, took out some grapes to munch on and started my 2 1/2 hour drive back home. I was a bit tired but the experience kept me up.  I was also enjoying the smell of burnt wood on my hair.  I was kind of quiet throughout this entire event, kind of alone but nature was with me, spoke to me, embraced me, and I listened, I felt it, I embraced it and was reborn.  So this quietness, this alone feeling was meant to be…so I can feel and be sensitive to the gifts that was being offered.  Also within this quietness I also met some wonderful individuals with beautiful talents and passion.

I enjoy and love nature but I guess I took it for granted.  Through out this gathering I learned.  What surrounds us is a gift for us to enjoy, to take care of, it is life and we depend on it. We can not live nor survive without it. It supports us, we are from it, we are organic. It speaks to us if we allow it. It helps us heal together with our Creator, and I have and witness that through my mom, Mama Pacha.

So this Spirit In Nature Pathways is just that….feeling the Spirit in nature as we follow the path….and allow it to enter OUR Spirit…and together experience the peace and the healing.~~

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

For more information on the S.P.I.N. gatherings and programs by Daniel Shea and his team, please visit the Links and Information menu for the the Web-Site.

If you have never attended one of these gatherings, I would highly recommend that you do…

You will not regret it!

Photo Credits: Daniel Shea and Pelucha

Drums in Black and White…The Essence…

This gallery contains 12 photos.

SpiritDrum! Oh! SpiritDrum

SpiritDrum! SpiritDrum! Oh! SpiritDrum! Let me hear your voice….

One of my favorite drum circle is SpiritDrum, held at the Enchanted Fox in Medway.  Its held every 3rd Thursday of the month from 7-9:30 PM but sometimes till 10 PM because no one wants to leave. 🙂

During this past week, it was a crazy, extreme busy week, more like squeezing blood from a rock! and I was the rock.  Now, I was looking forward to SpiritDrum for a relaxing, creative gathering together with very special individuals that I hold close to my heart and love seeing.

So Thursday came around and I went to work.  I was thinking that when I arrive to E-Fox, I was going to grab the floor pillows and place them against the short wall so I can lean my back as I play some of my instruments or sing.  So I had a plan…  The time came for me to leave from work which was  at 2 PM and headed home.  Took a shower, put together my dinner and sat to watch some news and catch up with this planet we live in.  The weather came on and said that there were forecasting snow for the evening and all night…”Great!” Now I started to think…should I attend or not. How bad of a snow storm? How many inches? yes? No? I want to go but my commute is close to an hour. I need an answer…  Since I still had a couple of more hours to kill I started to do some creative, artsy projects as I waited for the answer. HAHAH! Yes an answer!

At about 5 PM I started to gather all my instruments and putting them in my SUV but still waiting for an answer. Finished getting dress and so on. Then I sat down and watched the weather again…turned the TV off and sat to think and meditate.  After 5 minutes I got my answer…”Go!” and I went! 🙂 There was traffic and the roads were  getting a little slippery but arrived safe and happy.

I walked up the steps to the second floor thinking of what I needed to do with the floor pillows.  Some of my friends were already there settling down, talking, getting updated with life.  As I continued into the room I glanced over to my left which is where I normally sit and noticed a floor pillow with two smaller pillows on top against the short wall… I was in awe! It has been already laid out for me…this was my plan and it is done! I needed to be here and see and feel this!  Someone is my angel.  What a sweet welcoming! At that moment while everyone was talking and greeting each other I was in my own little world…I was so grateful and touched…speechless as I took out all of my instruments.

The Host, Dave started with news updates, then proceeded with the smudging, and calling of the four Native American directions.  He then started beating the ceremony drum with strength and power giving out a strong firm sound. Like an awakening of a calling.  We all started to join him with different beats, singing bowls, rattles and other instruments. Then our voices started to join in with the same strength but not loud but strong and firm.  The sound became very intense and unified.   The entire room felt like it was elevating into the heavens.  Like if the roof just opened and we reached over to the galaxies. Simply beautiful.

So from the very beginning the unity as one was felt.  Everyone was in such connection from one another. We were all a family helping each other out, listening to each other, giving each other support. Then we took a few minutes to breathe quietly. Then we started again with a different beat and rhythm. There were times we would  laugh and exchanged a few words plus made fun of each other…but it felt good, we were a family. I played my flute several times which I love because it helps me know when to come in within the beats.  I am learning not to anticipate and just flow, feel the essence of the moment and express that from my heart. It’s not the same as playing at home when I can create my own expressions.

I shared a reading reflections from one of my favorite Native flute performers and writings. After, my friend, Dan brought his didgeridoo. He set up  his amplifier and microphone so the sound would be more intense.  He started to play and I started to smile. Dave played the ceremony drum with mallets and hands. I picked up my singing bowl and started to play.  Listening to Dave and another friend, Caroline that was next to me…plus Becky on the Shruti box.  This is all I heard in instruments.  I am sure there was more but this was it for me…I could not believe the voices I was hearing…a rejoicing, chanting, an intense honoring.  I started to voice my deepest feelings…I joined in with what I was hearing.

This was so pure, so free, so raw, so honorable, so simple, so rich, so tender and so powerful.  I would have kept on all night until I would have fallen asleep listening…

At the end we all held hands together.  Dave always has a few words to depart with, but this time he did not.  He expressed that while driving over to E-Fox, he was thinking of what to express, what to share and came up with a reflection to leave everyone with.  But when he heard what I shared earlier, it was almost a word for word transcription of what he was going to say…so he was floored when he heard me and when I heard him explain, I became numb. We all then gave each other a caring squeeze of the hand we were holding, to show that we are here, we are one, we are connected. ~~

Here, I was not sure in attending due to the weather but was told to “GO”.  I had to go, I had to be a part of this gathering. I arrived and found the pillows against the short wall, shared the harmonic rhythms, sang, reached the heavens and galaxies, was blessed with the playing of the didgeridoo and shared my reading reflection that Dave was thinking of.  A total perfection I would say.  This gathering and everyone who attended were highly blessed and I am sure they felt blessed, I know I did.

We make plans or have plans. It does not matter how simple or complicated they may be. But they are sometimes taken care of by the spiritual world. I had my plans, Dave had his, but they were taken care of in the most spiritual wonderful ways.  Its just that simple and we learn from them.  These are little miracles but when we think and start to discern they are huge as we begin to understand the connection.  So make your plans, but remember some of those plans maybe already be taken care of…Flow…Go…Embrace!…Be grateful! _/|\_

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

***I write how I think and feel… 

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Please visit the Reflections and Quotes site to read what I shared in this gathering…

Also visit the Links and Information site for more on SpiritDrum…and the Enchanted Fox.

In the beginning 8 .::Native American Frame Drum::. “Mi Corazon”.

After placing the frame on top of the skin, Stan gave me some measurements on how to cut around the frame drum and create some slits.  So I started to cut the skin and the slits with the aid of a friend. I was very happy how this was coming along.  Now in waiting to the next step from Stan, I looked around and noticed  mostly everyone that was building this type of drum were finishing and showing their accomplishments with joy and relief.  I was truly happy for them because I knew they also worked hard “birthing a drum”. I too was going to have the same feeling once I would finish, but right now I was not even close….

Now Stan was so extremely busy with everyone else but very patient and polite.  So I waited for the next step.   After a while I caught him and he said “cut around the frame three times creating strips”. These strip will be weaved together with the ring and skin that wraps the frame.  So I cut three strip like pieces.  I remembered looking at the other individuals that was doing the same drums and recalled that my strips(s) was shorter than theirs…I thought to myself something is not right…I looked again and noticed that I cut three pieces not one long piece three times around I just stood there in front of my table in disbelief, totally numb. I felt like my entire head just fell off!…

AAARRHHH! Nooooo! What on earth! After all this hard work and now this! But I kept my cool and with faith and going with the flow… I went over to Stan and looked at him, actually stared and dragged him over to my table. I thought I was going to have a cardiac arrest.  He looked, quietly and said “are the pieces long?” I said yes! Not knowing how long. Then he said start weaving them unto the ring, through the slits and the skin that wraps around the frame and lets see what happens.

Okay! Hope! There is hope! With faith and determination I started to weave the skin strips. After I finished with one strip of skin I continued with the other I said to myself, “Okay I think this may work”.  I had two strips on the drum. And one to spare which I put aside.  I dragged Stan over to my table and he helped me with tieing some knots and he said start pulling real hard so the skin on the drum can start stretching.  I sat on my chair, drapped a towel over my lap and started to pull and stretch.  I can not believe how much skin can stretch I pulled and stretched, pulled and stretched and I felt like my hands were going to fall off.  This was harder than the pulling of the fur…but thats okay, even if it kills me I will finish this drum.

After I could no longer continue with the pulling and stretching I needed Stan’s help. I put the drum down and started to visit others as they admire their new build drums. But poor Bruce, he needed so much  help with his drum so when I dragged Stan again to my table…we decided that he help Bruce first and I would wait.  That was about 8 PM.  It was dark already and everyone was leaving. I was tired, hungry, smelly, still with fur all around.  I felt like I went through a war. I started to pick up my tools, was going to throw away the extra third piece of skin strip but decided to save it…for just in case, closed the foldable table and put the items in my SUV.  Drapped a plastic over the back seat so I can rest my drum.

Then started to think did I actually do this, go through all of this..in one day, unreal!.  What a roller coaster ride. But I am here, almost done! I am almost to the finish line. Now Stan was ready to help me out.  He started to stretch the skin and the strips some more but now some of the strips were popping, so he knotted them, then another popped, he knotted and I was just looking and thinking PLEASE! no more popping.  Then he asked me, did you keep the extra strip? and I said”Yes!” “Yes!” “Yes!” so thankful I did not throw it away! “THANK YOU! So he tied the end and more pulling and stretching. My poor drum has gone through so much, up to the very end!  Stan then wrapped the horn to the back, making sure all was aligned and the position was correct.  Once he finished, it was perfect.  I was smiling.  The skin was still wet but Stan started to beat on it.  He asked me “Do you like deep tones” I said “Yes, Yes! I do” he said “this drum will have a very nice deep tone” and I said “Yes! Thank You!

He gave me the drum and now I had to trim the ends of  the skin that was wrapped around the frame for a  nice finish look.  So very carefully I grabbed a blade even though by this time I was seeing double but started to cut in a scallop design.  When I reached the part where the deers heart was- I did not cut that area.  I took one last look at my drum then glanced over to Bruce, he glanced over to me, we smiled and hugged each other. What a journey, what an adventure, what a learning experience. What a day!

I took my drum over to my SUV and carefully placed it over the plastic sheet. Said good-bye to Bruce, Stan, Susan, Brad and couple of others that was helping with the clean up, by then it was 10 PM.  I started my drive back home in awe and in disbelief.

Once I arrived home I took my drum and placed it on the side of a furniture so it could dry.  I walked over to my desk and sat down and stared at the drum…in shock.  Then it came to me…

This dear animal is not dead, it still lives, it lives in my drum, it sings, it voices through my drum. I started to cry because of the magnitude of life and the cycle of life. Its selfless, if we allow it.

Now because I knew where the heart was located,  I made sure it was aligned with my heart when I hold it to play.  So I named the drum “Mi Corazon” which means “My Heart”.  When I play it, I hear the deepness of life, the feel of strength, of love, of my inner voice and the strength of our Maker. “Mi Corazon” Forever!

Through all of the hardships, struggles, pain, patients, hope and faith, I was able to move forward. I learned to flow. I personally am an easy-going person, always enjoying what surrounds me no matter the circumstances. But during this event and building this drum I have learned to have more faith, not to second guest and just move on and by doing this “Mi Corazon” was created in a very special, spiritual way. So when you have troubles, hardships step back and start flowing with what is ahead of you and see where is takes you…you will be amazed! The End

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

**I write how I think and feel…

**Please feel free to look into the Essence in Photography to see “Mi Corazon”

and all the knots. 🙂

In the Beginning 7.::Native American Frame Drum::.Part 3.

Now with love and compassion I continued pulling the fur and making sure all was clean and soft.  At last I have finished.  I was amazed on how time flew by.  I think it was due to my change of heart and its essence of this gift to me.  Now what I looked like, was a different story! I had fur all over, my pants, jacket, hair-actually it matched my hair HAHAH!, on the ground and of course in the box. And the musky smell? Lets not even go there!  But it did not bother me, it did not matter…it was all about this gift this dear animal had given me…it was sacred and special.

I took the skin to Stan and he guided me to a huge barrel of water and told me to place the skin in the barrel and let it soak for a couple of hours…”A couple of hours! Huh?”  But moving forward. I have faith, lots of it…I am not one to give up…easily…for I know the end result will be perfect. So I pushed the skin into the barrel filled with water, made sure the entire skin was covered.  Now a couple of friends were sitting on the steps of the porch with their drums playing and I said “Okay! Break time”…went to my SUV and took out my drum, tambourine and a shaker “Yes!” I brought them with me…one must always be ready! right?” and joined them in playing. A little fun within this hard labor.  I totally believe in this…HAHAH!

After a little jamming, the glue had dried around the frame and now I was able to stain it. That went smoothly, I wanted to stain it again and sand paper but time was against me so I had to settle. . Stan came over to me and said “go over to that box and pick out a horn which will be the handle for the drum” I went over to the box and looked in…there were only four horns…the pickings were very slim due to everyone else picked their horn on Saturday.  I looked around…I did not want a big horn that looked like a giant bird claw.  HAHAH! I picked a very simple small horn.  I took it apon my hand, held it, felt it and it felt real good.  I made a connection.  I said to myself “This is the one, you will be with me”  then I sand papered it a bit to smooth any rough spots and put it aside.

I took out my wood burning tool and tip.  I wanted to wood burn two bear claws on the inside of the frame.  In Native American, I am the bear. Which means Strength, power, self-awareness, survival, courage, discernment, caring, protector and spiritual symbol of healing.  I would agree, this really does describes me but in a humble way!

I went ahead and burned the bear claws and that went smoothly.  Then I cemented the Ten Native American Commandments that I burn on leather to the inside frame next ot the claws.  Perfect! So far so good…now it was time to eat my lunch which I brought from home and talk, laugh with Bruce some more, plus see what the others were doing and their encounters.

After lunch, two hours have passed  and I was able to pull out the heavy wet skin to rinse it.  More  like a power wash to get any loose fur off.  After, I dragged the skin on top of my table and stretched it flat.  Nothing like wet animal skin…slimy, fleshy, wet, blah!. Not so nice! But then I was raised with three brothers which makes me a bit of a tom boyish…not to girly but not to boyish, just right in the middle…so I learn to do their stuff and hang out with them plus not be afraid. I love my brothers very much…Oh! Wait! that’s another story! HAHAH!

Stan came over to look at the skin and stayed quiet for a bit and just kept looking at the skin.  I also stayed quiet, waiting.  I thought something was wrong…Then he said “Milly, this skin is very special, because you see this corner right here, this was where the heart was.  The dark staining on the skin is the blood, the muscle stopped the blood from reaching the pores of the skin…so here you can see where the heart was…at that very moment I was in awe and felt teary eye.  I knew right away where I was going to place the frame with the commandments. Right next  to the heart! Perfect! So grateful! …Then Stan asked for the horn, I gave it to him and he held it, looked at it and of course I know nothing about horns…and said this horn was not cut off like many of the others, it was found naturally as is…then we looked at each other in silence.  Then he proceeded to say “This is a very special drum” “Its quite Spiritual”  “It’s coming together”. I was numb and stayed quiet for awhile as I discern all of this…this drum is coming together in a very spiritual way, connecting, calling, to be together as one.  Plus I stained the frame in red…not knowing.  I was and still am-very humbled. (To be Continued…)

–The feel of the fur, a horn that was dropped naturally, the markings of the heart, the color of the stain, the commandments on leather, the bear claws and being able to place the frame next to the deers heart.  This for me are little miracles that one can see and feel within the flow as it comes together.  Its like the flow of life.  One lets go and allow the strings to weave itself.  Yes! there were some mishaps, extreme hard labor and heartships  but when one desires with passion, love and tenderness…one does not give up. One moves on, focus, push forward with faith, trust and confidence as one flows……………

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside.

~~Cantus Fraggle

**I write how I think and feel…

In the Beginning 6.::Native American Frame Drum::.Part 2.

Now continuing with my adventure in building my Native American Frame Drum…As you recall, I arrived early to Susan’s house.  I settled to my area, opened my foldable table, took out my tools, put on my working gloves and started to sand paper the frame…Music was on, my friend was with me, the day was nice and crisp, and I was sanding along, ever so happy.  All the corners and edges were nice and smooth, perfect!.  Now do remember I have to finish this drum in one day when it really should have been two days…so I was like a little machine…”Lets see how fast my arms and hands can move… HAHAH!

I finished with the sanding then walked over to Stan, the instructor to get his approval. As I was handing him the frame and he was reaching over to take it…the frame dropped. AHHH! We both looked at each other and then looked down unto the floor that seemed like a million miles away…the frame had broken into three pieces.  I wanted to totally die!  I could not believe this, first the date issue then this…how could this be?…maybe not meant to be, are you kidding me,  No! this is like a fighting battle, I am persistent, I am strong, I am patient…Okay! I need to breath, can I just go home now!  All of this ran through my mind. This was not an “Aha!” moment!

Then Stan said to me “See if you can put it together and I will glue it” I said “Okay, I’m good with puzzles” I can do this, (looking up) “Please help me!”.  So I took the three pieces ever so gently making sure to remember the joining parts.  After a few minutes, I shouted “I got it!” Then Stan came over and  glued the pieces,  then he said “Good thing you were able to connect the pieces because there was only one frame and this was it.  Geez!

Even though all of this happened I was grateful and relieved.  Now I had to wait until the glue would dry, so I can stain it…”Patients is a virtue” Is that how it goes?  and I have a lot of that as some would agree.

Stan pointed and said  “Go over to that large green plastic bag and take out the skin that speaks to you” I said “Huh?”  “Okay”  I went over to the green plastic bag, cracked it open and wanted to die again…so far I have died twice… and resurrected.  At least that’s a good thing! HAHAH!

There were deer skins of all sizes, shapes, colors and not to mention the smell…but with the fur still intacked.  I then said to Stan”Wait a minute, they are still walking! “Noooo!!!”And he said “Yeeees!!” and started to laugh.  So there I was with these skins with bullet hole openings, some blood stains…and all, great! I pulled then out one by one and started to drap the skin over the top of the frame and made sure the size was perfect plus to see which one speaks to me…”Talking? they were still walking!” But one did…it was beautiful and of light brown shade fur.  So I called Stan and showed it to him, he then picked up the skin and started to look at it and feel it and said “Good choice” now I was feeling much better.  I am moving forward, everything is looking brighter now.  Until Stan demonstrated what the next  step would be.  He said “Milly, now you are going to take that box, have a seat and start pulling the fur off with your hands” I said “Nah! What? this is like plucking a chicken” He said “Yes, see you in four hours” AAAHHH! HAHAH! I went quietly like a good little girl, took the skin, took the box, went to my area, sat down, blasted my music, put on my gloves, put a large towel over my lap, and started to pull…and repeating these words “I  will love my drum, I will love my drum” I had Bruce laughing…then started singing away with my music…I remember saying to myself “Am I really going to finish my drum today?” “Oh! Please help me!”

As I had this skin over my lap and pulling hard, I would see everyone else arriving and getting started.  They were half way into their drums, some were building djembes, re-heading their drums, the native american frame drum as well, and Bruce with the Djun Djun.  They had already completed this part on Saturday but I was just starting…and thought, I need to move faster…and boy, I was.

But I was blessed that the gloves I brought with me, had leather finger tips and I was able to grasp the fur and pull it. I thought I was never going to finish…The more I pulled and more fur I saw…

But as I was pulling the fur off…I cast my eyes unto the fur, felt the fur, felt the skin underneath , started to think of this animal, how it was at one point alive and now no longer. How it will become part of my drum.  It no longer mattered   how fast I was pulling the fur off or the smell.  I started to care, I started to warm up to it and pull the fur with love and compassion.  How this animals skin was distend to be with me, be a part of my life, my passion, who knew.  This is when it started to speak to me… (to be Continue…)

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

**I write how I think and feel…

In the Beginning 5 .::Native American Frame Drum. Part 1.::.

After purchasing the buffalo drum and enjoying it and still and will always! There was an opportunity to build a drum. I said “Build a drum! My very own drum!  This would be fun, wonderful and rewarding… Why not!”

Every year on the month of May, my drumming friend Susan would sponsor a “Build a Drum” event for two days at her home.  So I started to think what I would like to build. I can build a djembe, but my brother brought me my djembe which is very meaningful to me so I would never replace it.   Then I decided on a Native American Frame Drum. Since I truly like and enjoy the Native American way since I was a child, this would be perfect.

I signed up and marked my calendar, this was a two-day event (Saturday and Sunday).  So now I was all set.  I started to gather all my tools and ideas for this special event. I wanted to add something special plus spiritual on the inside of the frame and decided on the *Ten Native American Commandments.  I wanted to wood burn the inside frame word for word. I knew this was a mission but knew I was able to accomplish it on that Saturday.   Time went by and Susan sent out a confirmation of the event and dates.  When I reviewed my calendar I have marked the wrong weekend.  At that moment the floor just disappeared and I fell into a dark abyss…and the money paid grew these little wings and flew out the door.  Gone! This adventure is no longer! Adios!!! Kaput!!!

This has never, never happen to me…not kidding! Never!  On the weekend of the event,  I was only available on Sunday.  I just could not see this happening… Then Susan contacted me and explained that I can do the drum in one day but it was going to be high labor intense plus late into the evening.  Now I saw some light.  “Yes!” I said to myself! I can do this!  Yes! I can! It may kill me! But I will plow forward!!!

Now I was thinking how am I going to wood burn the commandments unto the frame.  I just did not have the time…in thinking and thinking…this idea came up…burn them on a large strip of leather then I can cement it on the frame…Yes! This will work…I was so grateful for brain cells.  🙂

The day came, I  had all my tools, gloves, towels, sanding paper, cement, even brought my foldable working table, wood burning tools, stain, CD’s to listen, plus more…”Yes!” I am a total geek…HAHAH!

I arrived a bit early and met Stan the instructor, a very beautiful calm individual, he explained to set myself in a area and handed me a clean wood frame.  In which I will sand and stain later. I opened my table, took out some of my tools.  I was still by myself because I arrived a little early to start.  I was unsure how the day would be because I only knew a couple of individuals but knew also I would make new friends.  But hoping that I can hang out with someone and have some fun!  Right there and then a wonderful friend arrived that I treasured very much…Bruce! I did not know he was attending this event but was sooooo thrilled to see him. He arrived, shouted my name and gave me one of his famous bear hugs.  I had a name for him, it was “DrumFather”.  He settled next to me, now I was no longer alone and had someone to chit chat with.   All is good! As I was sanding the frame I had expressed to Bruce that I had some CDs and would have loved to listen to them but did not bring a CD player nor my laptop.  Right there and then Bruce offered his brand new lap top so I can listen to them…I was so moved because he was offering his brand NEW lap top, not worrying about the sand dust or any other elements that may affect it.  This was totally selfless and having faith.  This left such an impression on me…here he is not my father, nor my brother nor any other relative and he would do this for me.  He found  an electrical cable, plugged it in and now I was listening to my music. As I was sanding the frame I made sure I covered the lap top.  Then I took a look at Bruce and thought to myself, you are very special, you are real, you are you.

Bruce and I hung out the entire day, right into the evening to about 10 PM.  We shared a lot of stories, laugher, bugged each other, sweat, tears, plus more. He was building a djun djun that he called “the djun djun from hell” because it was giving him such a hard time with the rings.  Plus now he fully understood this thing about “Giving Birth to a Drum” He said “It just does not want to come out!” HAHAH! Then I said “That is a big drum!” HAHAH! But we laughed about it and laugh some more. He mentioned that he was happy I was there…because of my lighthearted ways of looking at life.  We were close to the last individuals left…still working  and we finished at the same time “Alleluia”.  We both looked at each other, smiled and hugged!

Bruce, a very special friend my “DrumFather” that is no longer with us.  I do miss him in the drumming circles.  He always made sure that I was find, that I was comfortable, that I was safe, if I needed help, he would greet me with such happiness. I loved his energy and his passion.

As we walk and flow through this life we meet individuals that becomes part of ones life journey…Embrace and learn from them.  At this event I started alone but a friend came over and stayed by my side.  Keep those wonderful memories alive and treasure them.  Like I say…he left beautiful  footprints behind and we should do the same.  In whatever we do, say, act upon, make sure there will be footprints…. (to be continued…)

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

*Look in Reflections and Quotes for a closer look on the Ten Native American Commandments. 

This is Susan West Web-Site for more information on Drums and the Build a Drum Program: http://www.graftondrum.com/

**I write how I think and feel…

In the Beginning 4 .::Buffalo Drum::.

After the FreeDrum gathering there were another gathering that I attended.  Which is held once a month, on the third Thursday.  This Gathering is called SpiritDrum.  I arrived not knowing what to expect but knew it was a softer sounding circle which I was going to enjoy and love.  There were chairs arranged in the shape of a circle but also some floor pillows neatly placed.  Seeing this was very special to me, since I enjoy sitting on the floor.  The floor pillows was a sign to me…it was a “Tender welcoming.”

This gathering is different from your regular drum circles. It is for each individual  to reconnect to one another in harmony, peace and relaxation. No matter what belief or faith one has.  Soft percussion instruments like chimes, bells, rattles, tingshas, singing bowls, flutes, frame drums, etc…are the instruments of choice as long they are soft or played softly.  Listening to each other and being in total unison is what creates the surrounded peace that is felt.  Also making sure all nagative energy is left behind.  It is beautiful to listen to the delicate sounds and how they blend into one another…and the spaces between each note is  where the connection takes place.  Plus at any given time one would change or switch instruments. What is amazing is not knowing where this rhythm/harmony is going…sometimes the sounds would be intense then it would soften again…”I like that!”

At one point while everyone was playing their instruments, I stood up and walked toward a huge buffalo frame drum that was laying against the wall.  Never have I played one nor held one but I said “Why not!”  But then I thought “I better not goof up because this is a big drum…I will get that look from Dave”(facilitator) 🙂 !  It was kind of heavy but I held it  using my leg for reinforcement. I took the mallet and started to tap the drum. Not knowing what I was going to feel or experience.  But at the first strike I felt the vibration throughout my entire body I felt a total connection, drum and I, together as one.  I started to play, I looked out toward the glass door totally forgetting where I was and what was going on…I was so enriched with this sound and feel that nothing mattered.  Because of this feeling and expereince I call this drum “Thunder Drum” due to its powerful sound, its powerful voice, its strength, telling me “Be Strong!”

I continued playing then I glanced to my side and saw Dave beating the ceremony drum creating other beats to my beat…and everyone else playing their instrument of choice. At that moment I thought I was going to freak out because that’s when I realized where I was and how this drum and I weaved together with the other beats.  It was serene that I had left this planet for a while and connected with my maker.   Then my voice started to sing in soft tunes and everyone responded, like a calling.  I felt so at peace and of my existence.  After we have finished with this session I quietly returned to my pillow and my friend padded and rubbed my back…a human touch after this experience…it felt beautiful!.

After this I needed to purchase a drum like this one “of course” :-).  Dave emailed me a link and I did purchase a buffalo drum a bit smaller so it would be easier to carry…and when I want to play the bigger one, “Thunder Drum”, I borrow Daves.  Now at every circle I bring my buffalo drum…it has become part of me, my essence, my beat, my strength.  There are times  I would play it until my arm wants to just fall off..HAHAH! Like the last FreeDrum gathering I attended in December…I was killing my drum…or maybe my arm…But that’s okay, I love my drum and the connection it takes me into a beautiful weave of strength and passion.  (to be continued…)

Quote from my Heart:

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

To get more information on the SPIRITDRUM gathering check out Dave Curry’s Web-Site: http://www.drumsforoneandall.com/

**I write how I think and feel…

In the beginning 3 .::My Voice::.

After Dave’s wonderful gathering celebrating 10 years with “Drum for One and All”, I was not able attend any drumming gathering or events for a couple of months.  All due to the excessive amount of snow storms and the distance.

But in March, I was able to attend the first FreeDrum gathering and this time it was during the day not in the evening. In this gathering special friendships were created.  In FreeDrum, Dave the facilitator makes sure that the last half  hour we all quiet down to softer sounds, to totally listen to each others energy and spirit.  This way everyone can leave with peace and harmony.  The lights get dimmer, there are candles glowing (which I simply love) we all get closer to the center, some sits on the floor while others lay down.  We all unite as one, as a family in the peace of each other. This is the time one can share the sounds of the flutes, didgeridoos, rainsticks, soft shakers, soft tapping of the drums, frame drums and most important use our voices (sing/chant).

I sat on the floor and started to play the rainstick and a soft sounding shaker.  As my friend was playing his flute, I closed my eyes and ever so softly moved the rainstick back and fourth…listening to everyone else play.  I felt the most unbelievable peace in my heart, soul, spirit plus a deep pulling of my self being and my voice came out.  It was very serene and deep. I did not plan for this to happen…it came deep from my heart and soul.  Listening to the beautiful sounds of the flute it reached out to my voice…and I responded.  In my daily life and all my life, HAHAH! and no kidding!  I am always singing to songs, harmonizing, singing backups and creating songs and harmonies with my voice…and so on…but this was different.  It felt different.

I talked to my mom about it…and she smiled because she knew something I did not know…  She explained that her mom, my grandmother would sing and use her voice the same way.  When my mom was a little child…she would hear her mom sing like I was singing during her quiet times in meditation… My mom would fall asleep listening to her singing, voicing from the heart, from the soul.  According to my mom and according to the family information, I am the only one that has inherited this from her…what a sacred gift that I so respect and very humbled.  It took a flute to pull it out.  So when some one ask me…are you going to sing, or looks and gesture for me to continue singing or start to sing.  I only say if it happens and only if its felt.  It has to come from the heart and soul.  This is not an act or just sounds, or just a because…its deeper…and when I am able to voice, I feel the warmth, a deep peace within my soul then I am able to share this with others. (To be continued…)

Quote From the Heart…

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts. Outside…Inside. ~~Cantus Fraggle

To get more information on the FREEDRUM gathering check out Dave Curry’s Web-Site: http://www.drumsforoneandall.com/

**I write how I think and feel…